


A Tired Luthor

by SilentHero



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Established Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, F/F, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, This is kinda angsty, but everything will work out in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:16:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22903024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentHero/pseuds/SilentHero
Summary: Lena finally gives up. If people were going to write her off as another Luthor, then fine. Lena is done. But Kara, on the other hand, is anything but.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 2
Kudos: 178





	A Tired Luthor

When the next alien terrorist attack strikes, it’s in broad daylight in the middle of National City’s biggest park. Rigging various parts of the populated park to explode, the hate group attempted to end as many alien lives as they could while making a public spectacle out of it. Supergirl was, of course, there to stop it, but before she was able to incapacitate the last terrorist, he shouted out his allegiance to Lex Luthor for everyone in the surrounding vicinity to hear, including the news reporter and cameraman on the scene.

A couple blocks away, perched on the highest story of her building, stood an innocent bystander watching the live news coverage of the incident. After the word “Luthor” tumbled out of that madman’s mouth, Lena knew she was doomed. People would link her to this act of terrorism no matter how much evidence Lena had corroborate her innocence; it seemed when it came to her last name, no amount of logic or proof could separate her from the wrongdoings of her family. They would say that she was plotting with Lex all along, that she was just like the other Luthors, that her good deeds were only a ruse to earn the public’s trust so her true plans would go unnoticed. Everything that she worked so hard for would be wiped away with one mention of her brother.

This sudden awareness of what was yet to happen changed something in Lena. All at once, Lena decided that she had enough. There was no point to try and get ahead of this mass hysteria that would surely be directed at her. Ever since relocating to National City, she had poured countless days and tremendous amounts of effort into damage control every time someone with even a remote connection to the Luthors decided to wreak havoc on the alien population in the city. Lena had tried to maintain an upstanding reputation, so that maybe one day people would see her as a woman of her own making, but the odds continued to stack against her and the energy she put into having a good public image had gotten exhausting.

Today, she would call no press conference to valiantly try to explain that she hadn’t talked to her brother since his last assassination attempt on her own life, no interviews to apologize for the xenophobic actions she had nothing to do with, no grand appearance to better herself in the public’s mind. She would, for once in her life, sit back and watch the pitchforks be pointed, the torches ignited, the accusations hurled- and she wouldn’t flinch.

_________________________

Lena had spent hours upon hours in L Corp’s labs, so much so that Kara hadn’t seen her in the few days after the terrorist attack and every time she reached out to Lena, she would have a reason to avoid Kara. In fact, hardly anyone had gotten anything but radio silence from the young Luthor, much less seen her. Kara eyed the multiple screens in front of her in Lena’s office at Catco. Although the Luthor wasn’t physically present in the room, her face was plastered on every news station, many of which had begun to suspect that Lena’s silence, along with the connection of the terrorist attack to Lex, meant that Lena was on the run. That she had fled National City with her brother to plan the next attack. Kara turned her back to the numerous screens squawking their biased hatred for Lena and took to the skies.

At first, Kara thought that Lena simply needed some space to deal with the situation and figure out how to best spread the truth of her innocence. But Kara was growing concerned, usually Lena was out adamantly defending her character by now, proving to the people that she was nothing like her family, but for some reason, something has changed.

Deciding that barging into Lena’s office unannounced was better than letting Lena shut herself out from the world, Kara landed on the balcony outside of her girlfriend’s office only to find it empty. A quick stop at Jess’ desk had confirmed that Lena hadn’t been in her office for days, that she had locked herself one of the many L Corp research labs located down in the lower levels of the building, only coming out briefly to shower and sleep in her office. Jess also threw in that Lena even had meals taken down to her while she worked around the clock. If that wasn’t reason enough to be worried, the look Jess gave Kara was.

The secretary was wringing her hands as she explained the whole situation. “Ms. Luthor never spends this much time in the lab, she knows how fast the paperwork can pile up and I can only buy her a few more days before the board and business associates are breaking down the door demanding to see her.”

Sighing at the news, Kara asked which of the many labs Lena was occupying. Jess was already under immense stress being the secretary to one of the most powerful CEO’s in the nation, the poor woman was starting to crack under the pressure now that she had to figure out ways to pick up the slack in Lena’s absence.

Kara thanked Jess for her time but before she could leave, Jess called out, “Bring her back, Supergirl, we all need her, some people just haven’t realized it yet.”

Kara smiled and promised she would, then turned around to start her journey to find the long lost Luthor.

Winding her way through countless hallways and doors, Kara found herself outside of the room Lena hadn’t left in days. She closed her eyes and focused on Lena’s heartbeat, it was calm and steady, no sign of distress or anxiety. Figuring that it would be better to knock instead of risking startling the young Luthor, Kara brought her fist up to the metal laboratory door and knocked gently.

Her superhearing picked up rustling behind the door and slow footsteps until the door creaked open ever so slightly.

“Jess, I’m not very hungry, I’ll probably continue working-” A pale hand rubbed hazy green eyes, but froze when Lena registered who was standing in front of her. “Kara?” A soft but surprised voice accompanied now wide eyes.

A sad smile graced Kara’s lips as she took in the person standing in the doorway. She wasn’t the stoic and professional CEO of L Corp Kara had expected to see, instead it was the side of Lena that Kara had only seen once before, after she betrayed her mother to save the aliens of National City. This Lena was soft and vulnerable and it broke Kara’s heart to see her this way. There were apparent bags under usually vibrant eyes, which only were most pronounced on her paler than normal face. Hair that was normally up in a perfect bun was fashioned into a messy ponytail that served more for functionally than anything else. Only traces of makeup still lingered on her girlfriend’s face, most of it had worn off from neglect.

“Lena, what are you doing down here?” Kara asked in the gentlest way possible, sacred that she’d make the person in front of her disappear if she spoke too loud. “Jess said that you haven’t left in days.”

A flash of betrayal flickered across Lena’s features at the mention of Jess, but she cleared her throat and mustered up as much normalcy as she could, only to be able to get out two words: “I’m working.”

Hurt danced behind Supergirl’s eyes, “Can I come in?”

Lena’s eyebrows knitted together before she stepped aside and let Kara enter the lab. A glance around the room told Kara everything she needed to know. Notes decorated with quick scribbles were strewn about the counters, slides were abandoned in various microscopes, beakers sat used and disregarded, computers still displayed the most recent algorithms viewed.

Lena hovered by the door as Kara took in her surroundings, “I know you’ve been through a lot, but you. . . usually don’t shut yourself out like this,” She looked over at Lena, “especially from me.”

Shoulders holding tension that could fill lifetimes slumped, “I’m sorry, darling, but I have just been so caught up in research.” She put on a fake smile, hoping her excuse would stave off Kara’s concern. “You know what they say, science never rests.”

But Kara could see right through her girlfriend. “Come on, Lee, I know you better than that.” Kara walked up to her. “I thought you needed time to figure all this out, so I gave you space, but I thought you’d be out there working to save face already. I don’t know why that’s changed. You always got back up every time someone pushed you down . . . that was one of the reasons I fell in love with you.” Kara turned away from Lena and walked back to the middle of the room, in part to hide the blush creeping up her neck. Resting her hands on the metal countertop in front of her, she went on, “You always worked so hard to make people see the real you. Back when I first met you during an interview with Clark,” a smile ghosted Kara’s lips as the memory rose to the forefront of her mind. “you said that you were just a woman trying to make a name for herself outside of her family. That stuck with me all this time, I just don’t get why now, after you’ve come so far, you’ve decided to give up.”

Something inside of Kara stirred, only when she came face to face with Lena did Kara understand what this feeling was- anger. Anger at the terrorists for dragging Lena into this mess, anger at the public for so easily turning on Lena _again_ , anger. . . at Lena for not doing anything about it. Up until now, their relationship had been pretty solid; this was the first time Kara had felt frustrated _at Lena_. She had become used to Lena being her shoulder to cry on, her rock to keep her steady when Supergirl duties had gotten too overwhelming, and Kara knew she was the one who helped ground Lena when L Corp and her brother’s malice pushed Lena to the edges of insanity. That’s why they were so perfect for each other, they were two sides of the same coin. Maybe that’s why Kara felt so irritated, because Lena had shut her out, that her other half decided to handle it on her own (not that either of them were incapable of dealing with their problems alone).

But that’s the thing, Lena had shut her out _and_ made no move to solve the problem, unless you call ignoring everyone and everything a solution. She was letting it fester when she could set everything right again, with Kara by her side for whatever she needed.

Before Lena could process everything Kara said, she continued speaking, “Do you know what they are saying out there about you, Lee? The media is tearing you apart and you’re hiding away. That’s not the Lena I know, she’d be doing everything she possibly could to fix this.” Kara let out a breath that she’d been holding, “You said that you wanted to make a name for yourself. . . but you’re just letting them lump you in with the rest of the Luthors. And, to the Lena I know, that would be a fate worse than death.”

Silence overtook the lab as blue stared into green, until a voice dripping with satire dared to enter the conversation.

“For someone with supervision, you really are blind.”

Taken aback by Lena’s choice of words, Kara opened her mouth to respond but Lena held up her hand.

“I haven’t just given up because I _wanted_ to, I have stopped playing this horrible game where I work to save people only to have those very same people turn on me at the mere possibility of a heinous act being connected to me.” Lena’s bottom lip trembled before her teeth clamped down on it. She had left her spot by the door and walked right up to Kara. “You can’t blame me for forfeiting a game that I didn’t ask to play in the first place.”

Kara’s rigid posture began to soften and the anger slowly faded into remorse, “But Lee, you can’t just let them destroy everything you’ve done. Why would you let them forget about all the good you’ve done?”

Lena chuckled and rubbed the back of her neck. “No, Kara. Don’t you see? I’m done. I have finally stopped caring. There is nothing more I can do to prove myself. Every time I try to do something good, it gets twisted and warped until I somehow end up the bad guy. But now, I have realized the thing I’ve been missing- I don’t _have_ to care about what other people think. If they have their hearts set on me being like Lex, then fine. I’m not going to keep working my ass off for approval, I’ve done that my whole life and it’s gotten me nowhere. The only thing that matters is that I know who I am. So have them hate me, have me burned at the stake, let me be the scapegoat. I. Don’t. Care.”

Sighing, Lena noticed the evident hurt on Kara’s face and decided to take a gentler approach, “I only have a limited amount of time to leave my mark on the world, especially since the target on my back only ever seems to get bigger. Now, I’m going to keep doing good, but I’m not going to keep justifying everything. I’m done defending myself against beliefs that don’t hold any truth. I just can’t do it anymore. The weight of all this hatred and contempt aimed at me. . . is a lot to shoulder and it will shatter me in an instant if I let it. Sometimes, hiding away and shielding yourself from the harshness of strangers’ fabrications is better than killing yourself trying to change the minds of people that don’t know you. And, maybe, Kara, you don’t understand what I’m feeling, but, darling, I’m only human and I am _tired_.”

With that, Lena ended her monologue, hoping that her relationship with Kara didn’t disintegrate right before her eyes. But Lena knew that the truth needed to be said if their relationship had any chance of surviving and, honestly, letting out all of what was knotting Lena’s back and haunting her thoughts felt liberating.

At first, Kara is speechless, then the floodgates opened. A sob escaped her throat and tears blurred her vision. “I’m so sorry.” She surged forward and wrapped Lena in a hug so tight that Lena almost couldn’t breathe. “You’re completely right, people have done so much to betray you and break your heart. You deserve better than what this world has accused you of. . . what I’ve accused you of. I’m sorry that I ever thought you gave up without a reason. And I know that it has been you against the world for so long. But,” Kara broke the hug and looked at Lena, “you’re wrong, too.”

Before Lena could block Kara out again, she hurriedly continued, “You don’t have to go at this alone. You have me. Even if you stop fighting for yourself, I won’t. I’ll be your last advocate, even if the whole world is out to get you.”

Lena’s defeated eyes glanced at Kara’s blue ones. “Please, Lena, please don’t shut me out. Let me help you. You have the Girl of Steel fighting in your corner. Maybe people won’t ever know the real you, but I do, and I’ll do everything in my power to get other people to see you the way I do.”

For once in a long time, Lena felt the weight of the world lift off of her shoulders.

**Author's Note:**

> There are so many good fics that show happy and stable Supercorp, so I wanted to try my hand at something that showcased a slight rift between our two gay heroes. Hopefully it's not too terrible. Thanks for reading, comments and kudos are appreciated!
> 
> Until next time.


End file.
